Do you ever feel like you love one of your kids WAY more than the others? C'mon, I'm serious - just admit it. Not all the time, just sometimes. My youngest son (5)has received favorite status a few times in the last week.
This morning he crawled into my bed and wrapped his warm little arms around my neck and would not let go. I said, "I have to get up, I'm a busy woman." He said, "No, you're a snuggling woman."
Last week I asked him if he wanted to join Tae Kwon Do with his brother and sister. He said yes....then after thinking about it for awhile he said, "No Mama, I'd rather just stay home with you and snuggle."
Do you think he'll always be this way? When his high school friends ask him what he's doing Sat. night is he going to say..."Snuggling with my mom?" When his girlfriend asks if he's going to take her to the prom or not, will he say," Ummm I don't think so - that's snuggle night at our house."
Speaking of snuggling - here's good one from middle son. A few weeks ago we were having family movie night and I was holding the youngest, husband was holding the oldest, and MS was all by himself on the couch. I said, "Do you feel left out with no one to snuggle with?" He said, hands down his pants, "Nope, I'm just snuggling with my penis."
And THAT is the insanity of a middle child......
Friday, May 14, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Stellar Parenting
This is how immature my husband and I are:
We're on vacation in Cape Cod, in April. Yes, we're freezing our asses off, but we've had lots of family time and ample opportunity to hone our parenting skills.
Today in the pool we were playing this game where I was the monster, chasing husband and the kids all over the pool. Somehow (husband says because I was acting "unstable", "monster" morphed into "Mrs. Bates" (Norman's mom in Psycho, remember?) So they're all yelling, "No, don't eat me Mrs. Bates!" etc.....
Suddenly middle son wants to be on my team and I say, "OK. You can be Master Bates." Husband and I screech with laugher and practically drown. MS is in heaven.."Watch out! Here comes Master Bates!" The other kids are squealing and splashing, "NO Master Bates, NO!"
Husband and I are so proud of ourselves and hysterical, egging them on, "Look out for Master Bates!" This was totally awesome until other people showed up at the pool.......
We're on vacation in Cape Cod, in April. Yes, we're freezing our asses off, but we've had lots of family time and ample opportunity to hone our parenting skills.
Today in the pool we were playing this game where I was the monster, chasing husband and the kids all over the pool. Somehow (husband says because I was acting "unstable", "monster" morphed into "Mrs. Bates" (Norman's mom in Psycho, remember?) So they're all yelling, "No, don't eat me Mrs. Bates!" etc.....
Suddenly middle son wants to be on my team and I say, "OK. You can be Master Bates." Husband and I screech with laugher and practically drown. MS is in heaven.."Watch out! Here comes Master Bates!" The other kids are squealing and splashing, "NO Master Bates, NO!"
Husband and I are so proud of ourselves and hysterical, egging them on, "Look out for Master Bates!" This was totally awesome until other people showed up at the pool.......
Monday, April 26, 2010
Psycho Mommy
Soooooo....... the kids are on spring break and guess what we're doing? NOTHING. That's right, NOTHING. My husband still leaves for work at 6:30 am but I do not get to do my absolute fave thing of the day - put my kids on the bus. "Bye-bye! Love you! Kiss kiss (Thank the LORD!!!!!)"
Nope...not this week. The fighting and the screaming and the nagging starts at exactly 9am...when I turn the TV off because I feel supremely guilty for sticking them in front of the tube for 3 hours while I mainline coffee , throw frozen waffles at them,and check my email.
So today, 3 days into this nightmare, I decide to be Super Mompa and take them to the beach. I love spring at the ocean....the cool breeze, the empty parking lots, my kids running from waves and shoving sand in their pants.... I woke up with a spring in my step and ran downstairs. Who wants to go to the BEACH??!! The kids go wild, scurrying around for pails and nets.
I get them all strapped in, snacks in lap, favorite tunes on the Ipod by 9:30am. We exit the driveway yelling, "Beach, beach, beach, beach..."
10 minutes outside of town, totally rocking out to Soul Sister by Train, OD (oldest daughter) starts yelling, "Mom! Mom! Turn my speaker down! It's too loud!" MS (middle son) starts backhanding her and telling her to shut up. YS (youngest son is happily singing along..."watching you's the only drug I need..." So Super Mom turns the radio down, and switched to a mellower tune. MS starts chanting, "I hate this song...it's stupid. I hate this song...it's stupid." YS is screaming, "I want Soul Sister!" And OD shouts, "I can't HEAR it!"
Screeching tires......car on the side of the road. Mommy is foaming at the mouth. "Are you KIDDING me???? I pack your lunches and fun beach stuff and drive an hour and a half so you can have fun and THIS is how you act??? THAT'S it, we're going HOME! (car pulling into driveway to turn around, children begging, screaming and crying) Do you think I'm going to the beach for ME?? DO YOU??? Let me tell you what I'd rather do today...I'd rather hire a sitter and spend the day by MYSELF!!!" (Foam and spittle flying all over, hitting YS in the face.) All three kids are crying...I feel like a shithead and drive to the beach, whiling calling my friend Kim to relay my latest psycho mommy episode.
The day at the beach is pretty good, except for YS pooping his pants because I couldn't find a rest area and MS kicking sand all over the beautifully laid picnic...(more screaming and spitting ensued).
On the way home, Kim calls.
Kim: Just checking to make sure the kids are still alive.
Me: Yep...they're in legal custody.
Kim: WHAT????
Me: Some bitch called DCYF when I was chasing my naked kids around the beach with a stick.
After stopping for ice cream on the way home...
Me: Who's the best mommy in the world?
Kids: You are! You are!
Me: Mmm Hmm..........that's right baby.....
Nope...not this week. The fighting and the screaming and the nagging starts at exactly 9am...when I turn the TV off because I feel supremely guilty for sticking them in front of the tube for 3 hours while I mainline coffee , throw frozen waffles at them,and check my email.
So today, 3 days into this nightmare, I decide to be Super Mompa and take them to the beach. I love spring at the ocean....the cool breeze, the empty parking lots, my kids running from waves and shoving sand in their pants.... I woke up with a spring in my step and ran downstairs. Who wants to go to the BEACH??!! The kids go wild, scurrying around for pails and nets.
I get them all strapped in, snacks in lap, favorite tunes on the Ipod by 9:30am. We exit the driveway yelling, "Beach, beach, beach, beach..."
10 minutes outside of town, totally rocking out to Soul Sister by Train, OD (oldest daughter) starts yelling, "Mom! Mom! Turn my speaker down! It's too loud!" MS (middle son) starts backhanding her and telling her to shut up. YS (youngest son is happily singing along..."watching you's the only drug I need..." So Super Mom turns the radio down, and switched to a mellower tune. MS starts chanting, "I hate this song...it's stupid. I hate this song...it's stupid." YS is screaming, "I want Soul Sister!" And OD shouts, "I can't HEAR it!"
Screeching tires......car on the side of the road. Mommy is foaming at the mouth. "Are you KIDDING me???? I pack your lunches and fun beach stuff and drive an hour and a half so you can have fun and THIS is how you act??? THAT'S it, we're going HOME! (car pulling into driveway to turn around, children begging, screaming and crying) Do you think I'm going to the beach for ME?? DO YOU??? Let me tell you what I'd rather do today...I'd rather hire a sitter and spend the day by MYSELF!!!" (Foam and spittle flying all over, hitting YS in the face.) All three kids are crying...I feel like a shithead and drive to the beach, whiling calling my friend Kim to relay my latest psycho mommy episode.
The day at the beach is pretty good, except for YS pooping his pants because I couldn't find a rest area and MS kicking sand all over the beautifully laid picnic...(more screaming and spitting ensued).
On the way home, Kim calls.
Kim: Just checking to make sure the kids are still alive.
Me: Yep...they're in legal custody.
Kim: WHAT????
Me: Some bitch called DCYF when I was chasing my naked kids around the beach with a stick.
After stopping for ice cream on the way home...
Me: Who's the best mommy in the world?
Kids: You are! You are!
Me: Mmm Hmm..........that's right baby.....
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Mompa has arrived!!!
Hello millions of readers....actually, hello zero readers because I'm not yet sure if I'm going to push the "publish" button or not....and even if I do, I still don't have any readers yet.
I started a photography blog over 2 years ago, but I'm not going to tell you the name of it because I used my real name and then you could look me up. Now I know that if I want to be honest when discussing my children, trashing my neighbors, and swearing like a banshee, I need to be anonymous. SO, it's MOMPA to you.....
Anyway, I quit my former blog abruptly when I got cancer...which I'm sure I'll bore you to death about at some point on this blog. My life has changed dramatically since then and NOOOOOOOO, I'm not going to write about how I'm a much better person now that I've had cancer and it was the best thing that ever happened to me...what bullshit.. Whenever I read a breast cancer story that's all upbeat and pollyanna like that I just want to grab that lady's tongue and pull really hard while twisting at the same time. Cancer totally sucks and I hated it and I still hate it and I want my old life back....but I digress....
I've always, always wanted to be some sort of writer, but I've never been sure what kind and I've never been at all sure that I'm even good at it. So it seems like blogging is a good way to test the waters without spending money or embarrassing myself (well, that might actually happen but who cares because I'm ANONYMOUS!).
OH and the name Mompa? It's a term of endearment for me coined by my middle son (MS) when he was 3 and it makes me feel like some kind of superhero.
So in my family is me, husband, oldest daughter (OD) 8yrs, middle son (MS) 6yrs, and youngest son (YS) 5 yrs - they will all be characters in my production.
Get ready blogoshere...the MOMPA ship has landed!!!!
god i'm a freak
I started a photography blog over 2 years ago, but I'm not going to tell you the name of it because I used my real name and then you could look me up. Now I know that if I want to be honest when discussing my children, trashing my neighbors, and swearing like a banshee, I need to be anonymous. SO, it's MOMPA to you.....
Anyway, I quit my former blog abruptly when I got cancer...which I'm sure I'll bore you to death about at some point on this blog. My life has changed dramatically since then and NOOOOOOOO, I'm not going to write about how I'm a much better person now that I've had cancer and it was the best thing that ever happened to me...what bullshit.. Whenever I read a breast cancer story that's all upbeat and pollyanna like that I just want to grab that lady's tongue and pull really hard while twisting at the same time. Cancer totally sucks and I hated it and I still hate it and I want my old life back....but I digress....
I've always, always wanted to be some sort of writer, but I've never been sure what kind and I've never been at all sure that I'm even good at it. So it seems like blogging is a good way to test the waters without spending money or embarrassing myself (well, that might actually happen but who cares because I'm ANONYMOUS!).
OH and the name Mompa? It's a term of endearment for me coined by my middle son (MS) when he was 3 and it makes me feel like some kind of superhero.
So in my family is me, husband, oldest daughter (OD) 8yrs, middle son (MS) 6yrs, and youngest son (YS) 5 yrs - they will all be characters in my production.
Get ready blogoshere...the MOMPA ship has landed!!!!
god i'm a freak
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